Monterey Park Tabiji Eggshells
Any mass shooting anywhere is cause for grief. When it happened in my own city, it impacted me at a whole new level. There are no words to describe it, so I will let art speak for me - and perhaps also for my community. And maybe for you too?
These are working images documenting my grieving process thus far, expressed through these eleven Tabiji Eggshells.
One for each life lost.
The eggshells began as bright red, the festive color of the Lunar New Year celebration.
Then came the painful, shocking news of the shooting.
Slow, inky layers of grief built up till they matched my somber heart.
They sat on my work table like this for a week, offering a wordless way for me to see and be with my grief in a tangible way, each time I walked by them.
I was struck by the persistent intensity of the red - the strength of the indomitable Chinese spirit. The insides remain white, reflecting my own numbness and emptiness. For now, this is simply a time to sit in the brokenness and to grieve, to not try to hurry the healing. Wrapping it up with a happy hopeful ending would skip what’s needed for healthy process.
My work is usually photographed on a white seamless, but this body of work needed a more symbolic context, so the eggshells are shot on concrete. The contrasting hardness of the concrete and the fragility of the eggshells reflect the reality of life.
We never know what (or who) will intersect our lives - for the Star Ballroom victims, it was a gunman and his bullets.
We are broken people in a broken world.
As I walk around in the slowness of my grief, doing the heart work as it arises, I trust that the One who loves me will bring healing in its time.
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These Tabiji Eggshells continue to unfold alongside my grieving process. See the next step here.
Image: The memorial in front of Monterey Park City Hall.