Eaton Tabiji Eggshells

Eaton Tabiji 1

Eaton Tabiji 2

Statement

The Eaton Tabiji Eggshells were created in the aftermath of the Los Angeles fires, to express the devastation that seemed to be everywhere in January, much of which still remains now, almost September. The eggshells are my prayer of stubborn hope, the blues and greens speaking of new life emerging right in the middle of all that has been reduced to ashes. The pearl represents the hard work of recovery, layer after heartbreaking layer, trusting that over time something beautiful will grow again, in the same way a pearl forms around a hurtful grain of sand.

Media: Eggshells, charcoal powder, acrylics, pearl, tears

©2025 Wendy Lew Toda

Eaton Tabiji pair, side view

Notes

The side views were first photographed individually. But after reviewing the images, it was clear that the eggshells also wanted to be shot together - just as no disaster should be weathered alone. We need each other. This is okay, and simply part of being human. Being together in the midst of brokenness can bring comfort and strength in the face of great loss. There is an understanding there. The solo side views also speak of the loneliness of loss and the hard journey of forgiveness. The eggshell interiors were kept as separate images because though there is communal pain, we each have our own distinct way of carrying it.

I wanted to use actual ash from the fires till I learned how toxic it was! Charcoal powder was the second (and safer) choice.

……….

“Released Me”

Frosty daughter was I

till the challenge to forgive

pinned me with unblinking kindness

hot war in my head commenced

the clock held its breath 

turning ever deeper shades of blue

awaiting the outcome

I surrendered

Forgiveness won

opening decades of a slow turning 

softening into unfamiliar freedom to love you

I would forgive you all over again

sometimes I still do, like yesterday

when you kept grabbing the wheel of my life

you haven't changed

but I have

happy in my own lane

free to release you to be you

instead of the Dad I thought you should be

no more wanting what cannot be given

it was never given to you,

so how could you know?

Wendy Lew Toda

……….

The Eaton Tabiji Eggshells and “Released Me” were published in Motif 6, pages 28-31. More about Motif.