“Sorting”

“Sorting”

Cleaning up

putting away

sorting through life piled around me 

paper mountains atop my table

growing unnoticed in the blurry months


when the world went on without me

as I stood by your bed

held your hand

thought only of you

and your imminent departure


when we said our thankyous

I'm sorrys

I love yous

goodbyes 

and blessed you across the threshold


when we sailed out under a blue sky

to surrender your ashes to the sea


there's an odd comfort 

in coaxing order from chaos

one paper at a time

finding places for things

letting others go

remembering I do have a file cabinet

and that box of blue hanging files

but not all things have a place yet

some remain on the table

where my heart wanders aimlessly

in a world gone sideways.


Inspiration:

The high intensity of end of life was over, the burial was done, and while there was still much of the business of dying to complete, there was no space to do it….I could not see my desk under all the piles of my own life and my father’s that had accumulated.


Image: Chyntia Juls for Unsplash

Poem: ©2025 Wendy Lew Toda

Wendy Lew Toda

I create at the intersection of grief and joy.

Art • Poetry • Coaching • Facilitation

https://www.wendylewtoda.com
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